hazelnut

It is incredibly strange to have little, furry creatures wandering around one's home. Curled up into balls, eating from bowls, never leaving...like plants that meow and poop. Inside these little creatures are miniature hearts and lungs and bones and stomachs. They sit next to us, try to talk to us, follow us around. They have personalities, temperaments, weird ideas, and sometimes, problems.

Just this week, Hazel, my scrawny, crabby companion of 15 years, went into the animal hospital for a two-night stay. During his absence, part of me relished the lack of whiny cries, but another part of me really missed his rumpled presence. Thinking back on the past 15 years, Hazel has been omnipresent. I have probably said his name 20 times a day.

It all started in my mom's tiny house in Lake Zurich where I fed Hazel with a bottle. I would put his pint-sized body in the bib of my overalls and carry him to the record store where I worked summers. He would stay behind the registers, blocked off with big pieces of cardboard. Back to college in the fall and he lived in my bedroom in a dirty house shared by 10 people. Hazel's flea ridden body was washed in the bathroom sink until he looked like a soaked hamster. Then the apartment in Evanston with Nübie, a peevish cat given to me in high school who, after less than a year in the Evanston apartment, promptly moved back to Lake Zurich. Then, various places in Chicago as I progressed through grad school and into homeownership. First came Piggie, the energetic buddy - always wanting to play, but settling for a few licks and sniffs, maybe a roll around. After that, Egon, the squishy, loving teddy bear - Hazel was not amused. Finally miles and miles away in Brooklyn where now there is a new, arch nemesis, Carry, the giant panda cat.

Hazel's a weird animal. Picky and skinny and loud when he wants to be, fluffy and regal and hard-nosed. But every time I bury my nose in his belly, he purrs. When he sits next to me on the couch, he'll reach over and lay his paw gently on my arm. There have been times in the past when he literally climbs into the shower with me and runs out, soaking wet, but happy. With the exception of long distance bystanders, family and such, Hazel has been the only constant in my life for the past 15 years. It is an interesting relationship, a mute, yet loyal witness to my life thus far.